By: Gašper Blažič
Judging by the turmoil in the transitional beehive, which is heating up even more in the heatwave (without radiators, Asta takes care of those), it seems that on Friday, 31 July, in the afternoon on the Primorska motorway towards Ljubljana, a … coup d’état took place.
The president, who reportedly rides a motorcycle in her free time, is not allowed to drive a car herself, so they allegedly assigned her Matoz’s police officer, who supposedly intentionally crashed into the vehicle in front of him. The president sustained minor injuries, while one of her passengers was more seriously hurt.
And of course, Janez Janša is to blame – who else. And naturally all the “Janša supporters” in our homeland. Because the president supposedly annoys only them, and on top of that she had a Russian agent in the car. So, they have a clear motive to get rid of her, even through a traffic accident. Because the enemy never sleeps.
You surely remember the legendary slogan meant to ensure constant readiness in the former “wider homeland”, or Titoland, as some called it? “Nothing should surprise us.” That is why we so eagerly studied self‑management with the basics of Marxism, pre‑military training, and the concepts of general popular resistance and social self‑protection.
As for pre‑military training, things were somewhat complicated, because some teachers of that subject allegedly performed free mammography on certain girls (you know what that is, right?), and in return they received excellent grades, since the teacher could “shoot” instead of them. A gentleman’s socialist arrangement. And no one said a word about any sexual abuse, since even Tito once married a very young teenager.
Speaking of ladies: fortunately, besides Spomenka, we also have Ljudmila, who after four years finally peeked out of her den and noticed that the National Assembly is now led by some “wild man” instead of the elegant and cultured Urška Klakočar Zupančič. And this wild man supposedly holds us all hostage. Even Janez Janša. So, this is an attack on the state!