By: Vinko Vasle
We obtained a programme fool of the TV Slovenia from our agent in KUL, if they succeed in seizing power with a street revolution after the defeat in the 2022 elections.
According to the Party’s traditions on RTV, the President of the programme council will be Milan Kučan. In accordance with the victory, the KUL parties will appoint their councillors to the programme council. At the first extraordinary post-revolutionary session, the programme council will appoint Marko Bandelli as director general, who is economically verbally controversial, which is enough. He will present his programme under the title: Me, Marko. Milan Kučan will then appoint Franc Trček as the editor-in-chief of news programmes of the entire RTV, which will be in accordance with another RTV tradition called the “Bermuda Triangle” or transversal from buffet to buffet. This is an important reference for this situation so that journalists can create reality in peace. We should also mention the appointment of the editor for culture of RTV, which will be Violeta Tomić, who presented herself at the programme council with the monodrama “Kurba”. In accordance with tradition, Kučan will appoint Jani Möderndorfer, who knows everything, as the chairman of the supervisory board.
At the special request of Milan Kučan, Slavko Bobovnik and Lado Ambrožič – Novljan are returning to the house. Bobovnik will host the part-time political economic weekly show “Cyclist”, as he excelled in this category in his report on former Merkur director Binet Kordež, now working temporarily at Dob. Lado Ambrožič – Novljan will take over the night term of Witnesses with the renewed title “Winners” and during the elite programming time every Sunday at eight o’clock in the evening. We must not forget the engagement of the two-time former director of television Janez Lombergar, who, at his own request and preference, will take over the education of underage candidates for journalists, which he once already did in the educational centre along the Ljubljanica, where he was then fired for misunderstanding. His Ksenija Horvat will take on the position of ombudsman for journalists and management as before.
All “ours”
In addition to the entertaining competition show “Love and Divorce”, Ana Tavčar Pirkovič will also take on the role of the main trade unionist for the well-being of journalists – in the basement of saunas, massage parlours, etc. Gregor Drnovšek, who strongly opposed changes to Valentin Areh’s programme in the pre-revolutionary period, will receive a monthly interview “I love you”, in which he will host politicians appointed by the programme council. Tanja Gobec will get a relaxed Saturday show “What can they do to me”, where she will represent the elite of the political authorities, because of the suffering she experienced when the Sunday show Politično was taken away from her (she had to take strong analgesics again).
Igor E. Bergant will be the head of the security service at the door of the info programme, and Erika Žnidaršič will continue to lead Tarča show, which will be on the programme three times a week. Tanja Starič will be on a two-year paid educational leave to edit her self-image, and then she will return to the morning show for pensioners. There, she will be accompanied by editor Miša Molk, who will have an educational show “Forever Young” within the morning retirement lane, and once a month she will participate in a live broadcast from the clinic for a better ass and breasts. In addition to participating in culture, Špela Kožar will also have a weekly competition show “We are looking for fascists”. Mojca Pašek Šetinc will take over the management of the documentary programme, which will include a story about Tanja Fajon, where she has problems with the script, as she wants the documentary not to be as boring as those about Milan Kučan. Manica Ambrožič gets a well-paid position of editor-in-chief without a portfolio to get some rest, and Evgenija Carl gets a weekly show “Vrtičkarji”.
What about the old pre-revolutionary cadres? Valentin Areh is leaving for the second assistant carpentry workshop in the third basement of RTV, Jadranka Rebernik can choose between the head of the cleaning service or the disciplinary commission, and Jože Možina will keep his Witnesses show for tactical reasons, but due to lack of funds they will be included in the PPN in 2036.
Vinko Vasle is a long-time journalist, publicist, satirist, and writer.