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Wednesday, February 21, 2024

(Letters – from victory to victory) Orwell on the gallows, right-wingers in the caves

By: Vinko Vasle

Finally, the EU woke up and grabbed the bull by the – balls. With resolute action by the European Commission, it tackled right wing humour and satire. The right-wingers, and especially the home defenders in our country, are not only looting the authorities, the courts, the prosecutor’s offices and the media, led by the public houses, but they have also dictatorially seized humour and satire. In order to prevent the naïve people, especially in Slovenia, from laughing at this uncontrollably, the EU Commission, under the patronage of the famous Sofia in t Veld, issued some written warnings and instructions. Namely, the Commission notes that right-wingers use humour and satire as a tool to spread their racial, chauvinistic nihilistic forms of humour, which is humour to mobilise hatred.

The Home Guard immediately labelled the report a Gestapo style, which is further proof that the Commission is right. Right wing humour and satire are dangerous. Leftists have no humour; they are deadly serious – just remember the liberation in 1945. Or Tanja Fajon’s march on Triglav. Even from this patriotic LGBTXY act, right-wingers began to produce their own perverted humour. For example, why Fajon did not have a helmet! Because it could be for the good of the homeland. Or when Fajon asks the guide to Triglav: “Comrade guide, do mountaineers often fall into this abyss?” And the guide: “Usually everyone falls only once.” Nothing is sacred to right-wingers. Not even stupidity. What tweet would Fajon write as soon as she took power? “I am worried – you are asking me what the state can do for you! Nothing and get to work.”

As in the former regime, political jokes are now spreading in buffets and inns, and most of this kind of discarded humour comes from the cellar on Trstenjakova, which I know very well because I participated in it for some time and I apologise to leftists and ‘fajonists’ – I will never do it again, so that you will not lustrate me if you come to power. Supposedly, in addition to everything, they will also take pensions away from right-wingers. Humour, satire and jokes even go so far as to make fun of one of the think tanks of the Alenka Bratušek Party – that is Marko Bandelli. For example, in the village inns around Komna, they say that he is the result of anal sex, because that is the only way something like this can happen.

What kind of political regime would, for example, the Levica party and Luka Mesec create? Arson.

Yesterday, in the buffet below, I heard a 2003 home guard entertain his right wing drunken table. He asked them what the difference was between Marjan Šarec and Alenka Bratušek! Answer: none – stupidity knows no bounds. At least Šarec represents the sanctuary of political responsibility in our country, as he resigned when we were at our worst. And he must not make fun of his intellect like that, because the excess of perversion is already that he only has a sexual organ instead of a brain.

The EU Commission notes that the humour of the right is a threat to liberal democracy, and especially to communists in our country. A few days ago, I heard one of the most discarded morbid jokes. Constitutional Judges Rok Čeferin and Dunja Jadek Pensa meet at the cemetery. “Hi colleague,” says Čeferin, “are you also doing a covid inventory?” Let’s say this – what is democracy? Democracy is when Matjaž Nemec and Violeta Tomić have more rights than one smart person. Horrible.

The SD women’s forum will surely be horrified by the joke circulating and wondering how many blacks you need to clean 15 toilets? Answer: None. This is a woman’s work. The joke is also racist because it deprives blacks of the right to clean toilets. Or this sexist one! How do you know when Lidija Divjak Mirnik will say something smart? When she starts the sentence with: “Once my husband told me…”

In fact, the safest humour is at the expense of the dead. This is also why I will save the worst jokes for the time when he is gone. It would be horrible, for example, to publish the following morbidly permissive joke at the expense of the still living Milan Kučan! Kučan dies. The RTV public house is afraid that the conscience would upset the Slovenes too much, so they decide to tell the conscience with the weather: “Ljubljana +26, Bled +23, Velenje +22, Kranj +24, Murgle -1, Žale +1.” Old jokes are the best.

Vinko Vasle is a long-time journalist, publicist, satirist and writer.

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