By: Vinko Vasle
Hello, could I get Blanka Žgajner? Why can I not? How come she does not have time? Oh, that she is dealing with Janković? Excuse me, can I laugh? Of course, it is a serious job to deal with Janković. Only, this must be done by a person who is not forgetful. Did she not forget to tell the court something in time? If a lady has health problems, she should see a doctor. Although she is still a little young for dementia. How come she does not have dementia? Then why did she mess up? She did not? The court said otherwise. Do you not think that sexual intercourse is conditioned by workplace crime? How is she not guilty? No evidence? Another newspaper published a report. How come there are no reports because they were destroyed? You know, this reminds me of that story when in the former Yugoslavia a murderer who slaughtered a woman and a dog was acquitted because he was an otherwise exemplary party member and city committee chief, and the corpse disappeared from the morgue. And during the trial he apologised for the dog due to alcoholism. We cannot have such a rule of law, but we are close. Kangler’s reports are still being published in the public house today, but they are illegal, and he is acquitted!
Now Ms. Žgajnar is prosecuting Janković again in court, and last week he told her in her face that she is writing fairy tales. You cannot have the Brothers Grimm in the prosecution, that is not serious. Not Grims, Grimm, though I would really afford you Grims. I would line you up. What shooting? It is not that kind of a line. You imagine a lot in your own way. Then it is no wonder the court is releasing capital criminals. Let’s say those Balkan warriors. Will you complain? What kind of crime would it be if I laughed now? I am not attacking an important state body; I am just wondering why it is not a crime if one Serb shouts that a coup d’état must be carried out in Slovenia! Wait a minute, what chauvinism, if it was not a Slovene who was shouting. No, that guy did not carry out a coup d’état, he was teasing the crowd. I do not know if he was armed, he had a microphone in his hands. But then can I go on the street now and shout that there is a need for a coup d’état in, say, justice? Why not? Oh, that would be a crime? Someone can collapse a country, but not justice? Do you also have a diploma from Sarajevo?
Why are you appalled? Who am I even talking to? Ah, you are the Attorney General. What do you mean kind of? Either you are or you are not. I do not know a man who would be half stupid, or a woman who would be half beautiful. But, I am calling you because I would like to report a murder. How, who was murdered? Me, symbolically. The last time they demonstrated, someone shouted at me – kill him, kill him. Of course he did not kill me because I am talking to you! What is the matter with you! Will you punish him? That there are not all signs of a crime? What are these signs? Sorry, because of your rule of law, I am not going to let myself be murdered. But I feel threatened to death. Why is this not criminal? But how dead do I have to be for you to do something? It is clear to me that I should not breathe, it is just a little amateurish on your part. I know a colleague who, for example, does not breathe near leftists. He says it is toxic air. But that does not mean he is dead. Although this is a case of severe air pollution, the so-called ecological conspiracy of the left and Luka Mesec, it is a catastrophe and you should investigate and sanction it ex officio.
Okay, I understand, I am not important and I can be threatened. What about when someone wrote to the Prime Minister and his whole family that they should be killed, slaughtered and more? No, of course the one who threatened did not sign. However, you had someone who signed, but he was acquitted because Janez Janša is getting on his nerves and that a person has the human right to have people who get on his nerves. About 500 people get on my nerves, and I tremble when I watch and listen to them, but I do not threaten them. Do not send me to a psychiatrist! It us my right for some people to get on my nerves. You are rude, indecent… That I am getting on your nerves? My good acquaintance is a psychiatrist, and he has a real diploma. Oh, I am also getting up your nose? I do not know anyone in that department, but the queues are long…
Hello, how dare you hang up.
Vinko Vasle is a long-time journalist, publicist, satirist and writer.