By: Vinko Vasle
We won again, so I must first humbly congratulate the winner Robert Golob and apologise several times. Firstly, I really intended to circle his anti-fascist movement in the elections, but the consequences of the triple 5G vaccination against the virus showed and an invisible hand led me to the SDS. In addition, it is clear from my tweets that I did not mean it, and the gloss shows that it is in fact a special crypto writing when the attack on Mr. Golob means praise and the slander of his party my direct support for it.
Therefore, let me say once again that I am extremely happy that Slovenians have spoken so irresponsibly and strongly in favour of a man who, in this complex time, more than symbolically represents a guarantee that he knows the sale of electricity and TRR. If he knows about electricity, he should also know its sells when that will be needed due to the wider energy crisis. He also proved that he is familiar with the meat processing chain, so it is right that the responsible citizens start filling the freezers with meat and meat products tomorrow, because, as far as I know Golob, he will not stay only for two meatless days because that is nothing, but we will finally become vegetarians in this term.
Because the crisis will be because Janez Janša did not win and Golob is liberating us, I will personally procure mandated quantities of toilet paper, sugar, and flour, which is happening now in Russia, for example, which also went to war not only against Ukraine but also against spoiled Russians. After the fall of communism and socialism, Slovenes became very spoiled, especially during the mandate of the Janša government, and twelve types of bread were no longer enough for them. So, now, that we will save in Golob’s style, they will get back the so-called workers’ bread made of black flour and bran. It is also a very healthy food. Reducing unnecessary purchases and consumer pampering is also necessary because Robert Golob, as he solemnly promised us, will immediately repeal the Income Tax Act, which means that wages will fall, and taxes will rise. So, there will not be much wasting. Golob said it was right to dance to victory, but not anymore tomorrow, serious times are coming. Tomorrow will be a new day, said Milan Kučan, who promised us the last victory of his generation. It is not known whether this will last Kučan’s entire life. Some are waiting…
I am a little disappointed because Golob did not fulfil his most resolute promise that he would occupy the RTV public house as soon as he learned that he had won. And it especially weighs on me because he did not immediately enforce the super street law on Sunday. They say that he will have to find out why this is not possible right away, but everything is possible if you want it. But I at least hope that Golob will not rule from the government palace on Gregorčičeva street, but on the platform in front of the parliament, because this is his natural environment – the street.
Of course, it is not unexpected that Golob won because he won with fascists and threats, because Slovenians only react to that. He won especially because he is a financially strong man, as it is known that a politician who has a lot of money is not prone to corruption. And he is not derailed by any secret bank account abroad, which speaks to a strong personality. This is also evidenced by the fact that Golob’s – now also my party – cannibalistically devoured half of KUL, although I am very sorry that I will no longer see the excellent financier Alenka Bratušek, legal expert Maša Kociper in parliament, and especially – sorry, I am weeping over the fate of Marco Bandelli, who nevertheless represented an intellectual superstructure in the party and the National Assembly. I will never forget him. Let him have light concrete.
Golob also enabled Tanja Fajon and the Communists to declare themselves winners in a specific way immediately after the announcement of the results, and to prove that they are even happy that they managed to get into parliament. Marjan Šarec also emphasised that if he is not in parliament, this is not a failure, it is a success to say goodbye to Janša’s government. This is Serpentinšek’s famous philosophy in style: even though our whole barn perished, only Janša’s cow died.
Luka Mesec became a half-breed, which he always proved with his half-knowledge of economics.
Vinko Vasle is a long-time journalist, publicist, satirist, and writer.