By: Vinko Vasle
The year is 2050. After four days, the search unit for the missing from Bokalci found a resident, 109-year-old Milan Kučan, who was walking in a wheelchair from the Presidential Palace, past the Constitutional Court to the RTV public house. The strange, confused old man was reported by a citizen because he could not tell who he was and where he was going. He spoke only “to Murgle, to Murgle.” When he was taken back to a home for the elderly, he grumbled “Terror, dictatorship” and “Long live Josip Broz.” He ran away from the elderly home after Janez Zemljarič (122 years old) and Božo Kovač (115 years old) saw him cheating in black Peter game. They insulted him with ordinary, corrupt Udba member and a communist, and according to media reports, they also beat him. Kučan does not remember anything.
While climbing in the northern Triglav wall, the Prime Minister, 92-year-old Janez Janša, who has been in this position since 2022, called on the management of the retirement home to protect resident Kučan’s integrity, because a man who never remembers anything, must not be beaten. President Borut Pahor (87) decided to honour Zemljarič and Kovač for their state-forming stance, while Janša wrote on Twitter: “The revolution is beating its own” and 251 Odlazek’s media unanimously wrote that the tweet of dictator Janša was simply scandalous. Pahor is not guilty of anything, because he is on oxygen therapy every other day, and once a week on therapy against Alzheimer’s.
Every Wednesday, 67-year-old, a little-used, single Teja Jarc organises a protest march against the government’s measures regarding covid and it is not clear to anyone what it is about, as the virus died naturally when it took 78 percent of Wednesday and Friday protesters in 2025. Jarc successfully takes fifteen fighters with walkers and 12 people who use diapers to the streets, ambulances kindly drive them to various locations, Jarc to psychiatry, where she has the seat of her rebel headquarters. She accepted the news that Janša was climbing Triglav again with indignation, saying that it was a provocation because she could no longer do it herself due to sciatica.
Tanja Fajon (79 years old) described the current events, which have been going on since 2021, as a great concern of the Slovenian nation and sent already 73rd application to the Constitutional Court to overthrow the government, otherwise all three still living members of the Communists will go to the streets, in addition to Jarc’s protesters. Matjaž Nemec, who has just celebrated his 70s and his eighth wife, added that he would provide accusatory evidence that Janša was not climbing Triglav, but it was his substitute, while Janša was consolidating his position on Gregorčičeva.
This is reported by Primož Cirman, who has a sound recording. However, in the confrontation of the Politično show, there was unrest with 69-year-old Tanja Gobec, when 91-year-old Ljudmila Novak and 97-year-old Zoran Janković clashed. He claimed that Nina-nana was pushing her on purpose and for payment, which Novak misunderstood and reminded him of a pharmacist, who was no longer known to Janković at that age. Novak has held the first place on the scale for the presidency since 2021, in the last poll she received as many as 178 percent of the vote. Nikola Damjanić stated that he is very proud of his methodology and that he is not like her from Mediana, who does everything by heart. Namely, Janja Božič Marolt put 73-year-old Marjan Šarec in the first place for the presidency in accordance with the arithmetic mean mode, whom she described as Biden of Slovene politics. By the way, Biden has been in eternity for twenty years anyway. Alenka Bratušek (80 years old) is now looking for a public opinion that would give her an advantage.
This year, 81-year-old Franc Trček broke the record in 23-day drinking, Lidija Divjak Mirnik (77) became the president of the house council, 72-year-old Marko Koprivc works transversal from Tito’s monument to monument, 87-year-old Violeta Tomić is Kurba again due to long-term unemployment, and 88-year-old Nataša Sukić managed to establish contact with her posthumous soul via computer. Luka Mesec, 63, writes articles on economics that no one publishes, and Marko Bandelli-Bevanda, 83, lives strangely in that famous barrel.
Reported by Vinko Vasle (101 years old).
Vinko Vasle is a long-time journalist, publicist, satirist and writer.